Sephiroth: From Birth to Death
by Carbuncle
Summary: Let's take a break from the usual stuff and let someone else other than Cloud Strife be the star. Sephiroth's life story told by none other than the great man himself. If you're a Sephiroth fan (and let's face it, who isn't?) you'll enjoy this.


FINAL FANTASY VII   
  
Sephiroth: From Birth to Death   
  
(Open to Lucrecia's womb. Baby Sephiroth is inside)   
Baby Sephiroth: #Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider--oh, this is intolerable! I've been stuck here for the last nine months! I can't take it anymore! I have to get out of here! (starts to kick the walls) Let-me-out-of-here!   
Lucrecia: (muffled) Oh Hojo, he did it again! Come here and feel our baby's kicks!   
Baby Sephiroth: ...there's that muffled voice again. Oh lord, please free me from this beast. (some light enters the womb) What the devil is that?   
  
(Cut to Midgar General Hospital. Lucrecia is in one of the hospital beds. Hojo and Dr. Imahidiot are beside her)   
Dr. Imahidiot: All right. One last push should do it, Lucrecia. (Lucrecia closes her eyes and pushes) Yes! Yes! Here it comes!   
Hojo: Well done, Lucrecia.   
Dr. Imahidiot: (gives baby Sephiroth to Lucrecia) Congratulations Mr. and Mrs., um, Hojo... it's a boy!   
Lucrecia: Oh Hojo, isn't he lovely?   
Hojo: He certainly is, my wife.   
Baby Sephiroth: Gah! Who in the hell are you people?   
Dr. Imahidiot: Ha! Quite an inquisitive little fellow, isn't he? (pause) Are you going to breast feed him now?   
  
(Cut to the Hojo's house. Lucrecia is in the kitchen with baby Sephiroth. Hojo is sitting at the table, reading the newspaper)   
Lucrecia: (hovers a spoonfull of baby food around in front of baby Sephiroth) Open wide, Sephy!   
Baby Sephiroth: (knocks the spoon out of her hand) For the last time, I don't want any of your poison! (crosses his arms) Be gone, woman!   
Lucrecia: Aw, don't pout, honey. You have to eat sometime, you know. Food builds up the body.   
Baby Sephiroth: Oh, oh, food builds up the body, eh? (sarcastically) Well isn't that just fabulous?! (to Hojo) Have you quite finished with that newspaper yet? There are others in this household who want to know what's going on in the world, for God's sake!   
Hojo: Lucrecia dear, I think Sephiroth needs his diaper changed...   
Lucrecia: Oh, is that true, Sephy? Did you accidentally unload a fresh biscuit?   
Baby Sephiroth: The contents of my nappy is no one's business but mine!   
Lucrecia: I think that's a yes. C'mon sweetie, let's go and get you cleaned up. (picks up baby Sephiroth)   
Baby Sephiroth: Gah! (to Hojo) This is all your fault, Pointdexter!   
  
(Cut to Hojo and Lucrecia's bedroom. Lucrecia is fast asleep. Hojo wakes up and gets out of bed. He pulls his pants up and leaves the room)   
  
(Cut to baby Sephiroth's bedroom. Baby Sephiroth is lying inside his crib. He mumbles in his sleep)   
Baby Sephiroth: Yes... yes... bow down to me... I am your new ruler... I shall take over the world... hmm... yes... (his bedroom door creaks open and Hojo walks in) ...oh yes, you are a pretty one, aren't you? (Hojo picks baby Sephiroth up, and leaves the room)   
  
(Cut to Hojo and Lucrecia's bedroom. Lucrecia puts her arm over to Hojo's side of the bed. She opens her eyes when she realises he's not there)   
Lucrecia: Hojo?   
  
(Cut to baby Sephiroth's bedroom. Lucrecia walks in and notices the empty crib)   
Lucrecia: Sephy? (a car door slams outside) What the? (walks over to the window)   
  
(Cut to the streets. Hojo puts baby Sephiroth in the back seat of a car. He then gets in the front and drives off. Lucrecia watches from the bedroom window)   
Lucrecia: Hojo, no! Where are you going?! (disappears from the window and emerges from the house) Wait, come back! Don't take my baby! Hojo!! (collapses on the ground) No...   
  
(Cut to Hojo's car. Baby Sephiroth wakes up in the back)   
Baby Sephiroth: (yawns) Oh God, what a fantastic dream! What the deuce? This isn't my cosy crib!   
Hojo: Hello there, son. You finally woke up, I see.   
Baby Sephiroth: You there, Professor! What the hell is going on?!   
Hojo: I'm taking you to someplace far away, Sephiroth. Somewhere where your mother will never find you.   
Baby Sephiroth: ...oh, well that is excellent news. Now if only I could be rid of you my life would be complete.   
Hojo: We're almost to Midgar, son. Once we're there, I can begin to analyse the Jenova cells I injected into your body.   
Baby Sephiroth: Jenova cells? What the hell do you mean?   
Hojo: Just rest, son. You'll need as much of it as you can.   
Sephiroth: (voice over) For the next twenty or so years, Professor Hojo performed extensive physical and biological tests on my fragile little body. I spent hours and hours a day confined to a small glass tank, no bigger than that ovarian prison I had been trapped in previously. (a shot of an eight year old Sephiroth in the glass tank) As I grew older, I became more wiser and even more determined to escape this wretched jail of mine. And one day... yes, one day... (laughs)   
  
(Cut to the Shin-Ra HQ. Teenage Sephiroth - covered in zits - is inside the glass tank. He flicks through the pages of a magazine)   
Teenage Sephiroth: Oh, this is bloody wonderful. I've never seen such huge melons before. I must ask the bastard Professor to help me grow some like these in the lab. (Hojo walks into the room and peers into the tank)   
Hojo: Ah Sephiroth! How are you today?   
Teenage Sephiroth: If you must know, Professor, I'm rather pissed off. I have this strange ache in my testicles, and I think your stupid experiments are to blame.   
Hojo: That's just the unfortunate side effects, Sephiroth. You'll get used to it as the months turn into years. Now, I wish to take another blood sample today, so if you wouldn't mind... (walks into the tank and pulls out a needle)   
Teenage Sephiroth: Good lord! What do you plan to do with that?!   
Hojo: Just pull down your pants. I'm afraid it's a bottom job.   
Sephiroth: (voice over) That's when I knew I needed to make a break for it. The tank door was open. There was a clear runway. I could finally free myself. So, I decided it was now or never.   
Teenage Sephiroth: Oh look. Another helpless child with special blood.   
Hojo: (turns around) Where?!   
Teenage Sephiroth: God, I thought you were more intelligent than that, Professor. (kicks Hojo in the back and runs for the door)   
Hojo: No! Come back here right now, Sephiroth!   
Teenage Sephiroth: As my peers would most likely say... blow me! (runs out through the door)   
Hojo: No! Somebody stop him!! He is of special blood!!!   
Sephiroth: (voice over) I was free at last. I had my whole life ahead of me. I'd been a prisoner ever since I'd come into existence. I decided that from then on, I would lead my own life, and never take orders from anyone else.   
Shin-Ra Sergeant: You there! You look like a tough guy! Sign up for the army... NOW!!   
Teenage Sephiroth: Y-Yes, sir!!   
Sephiroth: (voice over) And so, I joined the elite military force... SOLDIER. I worked hard every single day while in the army, and eventually, inbetween beer and exotic women, I rose from common rookie to superior general.   
  
(Cut to Fort Condor. Sephiroth and an army of men are outside the mountain)   
Sephiroth: There it is, men! Our target: Fort Condor!   
SOLDIER #1: Uh, Mister Sephiroth, sir?   
Sephiroth: That's General Sephiroth to you!   
SOLDIER #1: Yes, um, General Sephiroth, do we really have to take Fort Condor? Wouldn't it make more sense to attack somewhere where the population is a little more, uh, higher, and where riches are far more, um, plentiful? (Sephiroth kills the SOLDIER with his sword)   
Sephiroth: Any other objections?   
SOLDIER #2: No, sir!   
SOLDIER #3: No, sir!   
SOLDIER #9: No, sir!   
Sephiroth: All right then! Attack!   
  
(Cut to the back of a SOLDIER truck. Sephiroth, Zack, and two more members of SOLDIER are there)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) Life was definitely on the up. Until one day, I was called to lead a party of men to the small town of Nibelheim. We were to investigate a Shin-Ra reactor that was malfunctioning up in Mt. Nibel.   
  
(Cut to Mt. Nibel. Sephiroth, Zack, Tifa and a member of SOLDIER (Cloud Strife) walk towards the reactor)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) We reached our target in no time at all, thanks to our local girly-girl guide from the town. But little did I know of the terrible things I would soon discover inside that reactor.   
  
(Cut to the reactor. Sephiroth and Zack enter the core)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) Inside, I discovered a chamber with the name "Jenova" scrawled above it. I'd already been told that Jenova was my mother's name, and that she had died shortly after my birth. I then made another discovery: the capsules inside the reactor contained living creatures -- humans who had been mutated into monsters by tremendous quantities of Mako energy. This, as well as the name Jenova above the chamber door, sent me into a fury unlike never before. (Sephiroth slashes at the capsules as Zack tries to calm him down) Was I created in the same way as these... creatures? Was I a monster, too?   
  
(Cut to Nibelheim. Sephiroth is inside the Shin-Ra mansion, reading book after book, in the library)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) I spent the last few weeks down in the Shin-Ra mansion's library. I would read constantly, page after page, book after book. I would not eat, nor sleep. I would just... read. (some teenagers walk into the library)   
Teen #1: Oh God, the bookworm's in here again!   
Teen #2: Man, he hogs all the cool books! (the teenagers leave)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) Through these books, I was able to learn about Professor Gast and the Jenova Project. (Zack walks in and talks to him) People tried to talk some sense into me, but... they didn't understand... how could they possibly understand?   
Zack: Sephiroth, a few of the guys and me are gonna go pound some beers at the tavern. You wanna come?   
Sephiroth: Out of my way! I'm going to see my mother! (leaves the room)   
  
(Cut to Mt. Nibel. Sephiroth enters the reactor's core)   
Sephiroth: That night I set fire to the entire town of Nibelheim just for the hell of it, then left for Mt. Nibel. People, once again, tried to interfere, but I made short work of them. Oh, yes indeed. (Sephiroth cuts down Tifa, who falls to the bottom of the steps; he then enters Jenova's chamber) I then took it upon myself to... free Mother. (Sephiroth rips away the mechanism) I broke her away from her prison... and smiled. I'd never felt so happy in all my life. Unfortunately, I still had to contend with objections from fellow SOLDIER members... (Sephiroth wastes Zack) ...and my life almost came to end when I was thrown to my supposed death by some spikey haired fool. (Cloud throws Sephiroth off the reactor's bridge)   
  
(Cut to the Northern Crater. Sephiroth is inside his cocoon)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) However, things have a way of working themselves out for the better.   
  
(Cut to Midgar. Sephiroth arrives)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) I'd heard that Shin-Ra had planned to seek out the Promised Land. I could not let them find it... so I assassinated their President. Word then came of my... reappearence, and it seemed that everyone wanted a piece of me. (Sephiroth is walking through the Sector 2 Slums; a teenage girl comes up to him with a piece of paper)   
Girl: Ooh, is it you?! It is you, isn't it?!   
Sephiroth: Pardon?   
Girl: Oh, Mister Sephiroth, I am such a huge fan! Could I get an autograph? My sister would die!   
Sephiroth: ...no! Leave me alone! (starts to leave; the girl grabs onto his leg)   
Girl: But you're my hero! You've gotta give me an autograph! I-I have all your albums!   
Sephiroth: (pause) Even "Slash it Through the Stomach - It Hurts More that Way"?   
Girl: Yes!!   
Sephiroth: (pause) But the critics said that was my worst album... You actually bought it?   
Girl: Yes!!   
Sephiroth: (pause) Have you got a pen?   
  
(Cut to the marshes. Sephiroth is walking through)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) The pressure became too much to handle. I fled the city and began a life on the road. It wasn't until four days later that I discovered a terrorist group from Midgar were after my blood. Anyway, a lot of things happened...   
  
(Cut to the Northern Crater. Cloud, Barrett, Tifa, Red XIII, Yuffie, Cait Sith, Cid and Vincent are fighting with Sephiroth)   
Sephiroth: (voice over) ...and it all came to an end, when a battle to the death errupted back in the Northern Crater. Cloud Strife... was the one who eventually struck the final blow. My life ended there... or so he thought.   
  
(Cut to Sephiroth (!) inside a small cabin. He's writing in his diary)   
Sephiroth: Little does he know that I'm still alive. He never did finish me off that day. I just pretended to take the last dive. And that trick with the blood and the cells... ha, all done with cameras. (closes the diary) Well minions, I hope you all enjoyed my life's story. Thank you, and good night. Oh, and don't have nightmares.   
  
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THE END__________   
  
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End file.
